Talking to My Self (2.16.12)

Taking physical space, I come back to pray at my cathedral.

I come to pray to the silent gods present here in the forest. These glass windows encase me in my viewing room, and even though these metal walls give me a sense of seperateness, I know that it isn’t true.

I feel the mounting desire for me time. I feel the need to go indoors, to wrap myself in me. I feel the need to come home.

Home is not with “out”, but it is within. Home is not a place, but it is a state of mind… a glorious union inside of you. It is when you feel so at peace within yourself, that you can go anywhere and experience “homeness”. The silly thing is when I don’t feel at home in my own house. I am more welcomed among the trees and the insects then I am among those dwelling inside the place I was reared. I feel a rift there, the tithing is losing it’s grip and I am certain that a new home awaits me soon.

All this growing leaves me with the desire to set out and blaze a trail a-new. I am sediment floating, readying myself to settle at the bottom of the jar. These words and this writing sets my soul on fire… to hear my heart speak back to me within the chambers of my own mind sets me free. I can listen to myself, my heart, my voice. I can cherish who I am and allow a magnificent flower to bloom within me.

This world is so beautiful….The moss growing on the trees, the kingly pine trees standing erect in their flourishing forested kingdom, dotted among the fantastical lichen blanketed branches.

I am sad and contemplative today. The magic of existence is marvelous, and it is also heart breakingly tender. These moments of life provide ancient gateways to the truth of our hearts, the magic of our minds, the fantastic power of our will. Truth sets the soul free, and inside the prison walls of the mind, truth is unknown to me. I find the books and verses of my very mind cataloged and dated for your viewing, but emptily my missives lose their potency out of context. Grains of truth, in whatever doses, still yield the intended effect,

Is it disrespectful to self or other to speed a process beyond it’s readiness?

The magic of self-revelation is a journey that has me enraptured, and coming back for more.

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